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“I can't afford to spend money on myself”

Does that sound familiar?

If you're anything like me, you bounce into the new year full of good intentions and a positive mindset and full of hope and optimism for all that is to come…


…and yet… there's a hollow echo of the past of your pennies rattling around the bottom of your bank account.


Whilst I have often wanted to stride on forward with dreams of a beautiful future, it's like I am followed around by some backing singers chiming, “How the hell are you being to pay the bills this month?”.


And I do.  And it is not always easy.  But I have found some things which are useful:


💰 Look at your money

God, it sounds uncouth, doesn't it?  But seriously, how much is there?  What are the outgoings?  Are there any incomings?  Have you done a budget?  I promise this does not get easier if you do not look at it.



🗣️ Talk about money

Shame thrives in silence.  And most of us have a lot of shame tied up in our relationship with money.  If you need to ask for help, this is your gentle nudge to do that.  If you want to improve your relationship with money, you cannot do it without talking about it.  And go micro - speak to friends about splitting bills, call a service provider and see if there are any special offers according to your phone usage.  Be bold, ask for a discount in a shop.  Practice the habit of discussing money like you're talking about the weather.



💭 Think about money

And probably not in the way you're used to thinking about it, like, “Shit! When are you going to show up?”  and “Where did you go?” and “I deserve more of you?” and 'I need you here but also I hate you." - do any of those ring a bell?  I invite you to imagine any other relationship in your life and how it would work out if these were the kinds of things you were thinking about it.  What story would you rather be telling?  If you had an easy relationship with money, what kind of things would you be thinking?  And are there way you can begin practicing that now?


You may think all of this sounds too simplistic, but how is avoiding money working out for you at the moment?  You don't have to believe I am right, but I am convinced that if you do the same things, you get the same results, so maybe, for the sake of your own peace of mind, it could be worth dabbling in something new.


If you're not sure how to apply this to everyday life, this is what I teach in SelfCareSchool.

Black eoman with a dress made of books


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