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Just feel your feelings, man

Sometimes it sucks when people tell us to take responsibility for our own feelings.

Frankly, it feels easier to blame other people for the things they say and do when we are hurt. It feels like if they are wrong, then we must be right. But that's a very simplified version of the world, and things are rarely that clear. But even if they are, that still leaves us in the rather boring situation where blaming others doesn't really help us. It is a very short-lived sugar rush. Because what happened still happened, and what you think still makes you feel the way you feel.

And if you don't like how you feel, you can either place all of your well-being waiting for someone else to change and say sorry, or you can take charge of what you would like to feel.

And you are the only one who can do that. Thank goodness. Thank goodness. You get to decide your emotions by choosing your thoughts and choosing. What we want to direct our brain's attention to. Our brains are pattern-seeking machines. Do you want your energy to be spent focusing on why that person is an arsehole, or what you can do about the situation?

You only have a certain number of hours in the day, and you get to choose how you spend them. Blaming other people is easy. But staying stuck is quicksand of a choice. You are the one with the power to decide what goes on in your head, and when you remember that you have choices, you are no longer giving any other human all of your power.

If you'd like to work on some of this stuff in a supportive environment, check out some of the courses at

If you'd like thoughts like this in your ears every week, subscribe to Spam Filter For Your Brain, wherever you get your podcasts.


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