For some reason, we seem to think that some people are just born with confidence. And that is because most of us are. Very few of us develop, thinking we are not strong enough to try and crawl or whether our digestion systems are developed enough to digest that pebble or if we could indeed build the biggest sofa fortress of all time.
But somewhere along the lines, we begin to convince ourselves that we should only be confident about things we are already good at. This is a wild notion because that means that we become more reticent about trying anything new (which means, ultimately, there is less stuff we get good at).
I see this a lot in people who come for photoshoots. Most people open with, “Oh, I am no good at posing”. I am going to repeat that. MOST PEOPLE say that they are not inherently good at something they have probably done very little of in their lives and feel the need to apologise that to me as they walk in the door. Very few of us have spent much time making shapes with our bodies in front of a mirror – it’s probably very rare you would have cause to. And yet people think they should be the expert, or they need to apologise.
Why is this? Where have we lost our desire for curiosity and willingness to be able to be average at something? Though these seem like pertinent questions, I think if we are not careful, we can just end up using them against ourselves.
I believe it is more helpful to think of confidence as something we build over time through a series of small victories and successes. And a whole heap of making mistakes and choosing to try again.
When you decide to do a photoshoot, you're taking a crucial step toward building that confidence and deciding to show up for yourself. You're telling yourself, "I'm willing to take up space.” And that in itself is a radical act. Not just for yourself but for folk who look like you. For folk who are a bit scared to show up for themselves. For the folk who want to be seen and are curious. And perhaps most importantly, for folk who love you and deserve legacies.
Building this confidence muscle for yourself makes you strong enough to push doors open for others who may not quite have the strength yet. And I like to think that all the future versions of you from the future are cheering you right along.
This world would be in such a better shape if more of us treated our bodies, our image and the skin we are living this lifetime in with a bit more kindness.
So… where are you willing to try to bring a little more confidence into your life?