@HEARDinLONDON #blog

21st January 2014

Updated: Oct 30, 2019

It was a beautiful morning, the day you weren’t born. The fog sat heavy, not wanting to let the day in and make me have to let you go.


In the close echo of walking through a cloud, I looked for you that morning      In the ripples of the river      In the movement of the leaves      In the child who ran ahead           and disappeared around a corner.


I listened louder for you that day      To the sound of branches aching      To the songs the birds were singing           For clues. And I tried to hear all you had come to teach me.

I felt the sharp air on my face      For us both I sunk my hand into soil      For us both I wished your Daddy peace      For us both.


Your Daddy was a warrior. And you would’ve been a peace maker.


I spread my fingers wide across my belly And stared into the mirror Desperately searching for the answer of what I could have done differently to make you feel safe.


Your mother stands tall      Trying to be the love she wishes for you      Trying to taste the life you did not breathe. A lighthouse here.      In case you ever want to come home.


It is so hard to say goodbye Before I was allowed a hello.

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