Updated: Oct 30, 2019
It was a beautiful morning, the day you weren’t born. The fog sat heavy, not wanting to let the day in and make me have to let you go.
In the close echo of walking through a cloud, I looked for you that morning In the ripples of the river In the movement of the leaves In the child who ran ahead and disappeared around a corner.
I listened louder for you that day To the sound of branches aching To the songs the birds were singing For clues. And I tried to hear all you had come to teach me.
I felt the sharp air on my face For us both I sunk my hand into soil For us both I wished your Daddy peace For us both.
Your Daddy was a warrior. And you would’ve been a peace maker.
I spread my fingers wide across my belly And stared into the mirror Desperately searching for the answer of what I could have done differently to make you feel safe.
Your mother stands tall Trying to be the love she wishes for you Trying to taste the life you did not breathe. A lighthouse here. In case you ever want to come home.
It is so hard to say goodbye Before I was allowed a hello.