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@HEARDinLONDON #blog

Deciding to care is self care

Updated: Jul 14, 2023

There comes a time in our self care journey when we have to stop pretending we do not know better.

We can no longer pretend we do not know that the way we speak about our bodies does not impact others, the way we treat ourselves, and the way we speak to and treat ourselves does not signal to others to others how people should be treated. And this also shows up in how we refuse to rest, reflecting how we believe others should push through. This is not about little self care tips to feel better. This is about change on a fundamental level.


There comes a time when “I would never speak to someone else like that” just does not cut it any more, and frankly, you have to make a decision. Is this the story you want to be living, or are you willing to take the bold step to stop talking to yourself like this?

Whether it is overwork or not prioritising your own emotional well-being or doing things which you know disrupt your sleep, or speaking to yourself like you are an arse out of habit rather than conviction, at some point, you reach a juncture where you have the choice to cut the crap because you are better than that.

And you know how I know? Because you would not wish it on anyone else. But as soon as we indulge in it, we become the kind of people who are also perpetuating it.


It can be a brutal place out there for people in bodies such as yours, with backgrounds, such as yours, with life experiences such as yours - and a thousand other ways that we are taught if we are not living a rich life of perpetual ease that we have somehow failed. And I know, in our hearts, we know this is not right. Surely you would like as many people as possible to feel cherished, valued, worthy and respected?


And we cannot do that if we are constantly knocking our own feet from under us.

For all of us to be safe, we need you to start treating yourself with respect. All of us has to include you. This is not self-indulgence; it is a crucial step on the journey.


So this is my invitation to you: how powerful will you be when you stop wasting all this energy on self-sabotage?




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