@HEARDinLONDON #blog

I used to be scared of selling

I think I probably still am.


I wanted to write something about why I am scared of selling. Especially as I have spent the last few months writing a course, which I think will really help people in the New Year and really support their lives.


It's interesting to me for me to watch my resistance to selling and what is am making that mean, so I just wanted to write a few thoughts down because I'm sure there may be something useful here for other people, because that is how I process my thoughts.


I think the first thing that's really clear to me when I look at my thoughts is that I don't think my audience is here to buy from me. The thought is that I'm breaking some kind of agreement that I have with you as to why you're following me, or why you are reading my stuff. I feel like asking for any kind of financial recompense for any offering I give is somehow taking away from you. That I should always just give, without ever making it an exchange. And that if I am not always giving, I may not be liked. Capitalism cuts deep pretty quickly when you look at the thoughts behind this stuff.


The dirty thing is, by proxy, I am saying that I expect other people to do the same. I would never claim I think that, but my actions are betraying stuff I am not even willing to look at.

But it's interesting where that thought comes from that if I give enough away, people will stay around and people will like me, and I will be worthy and I won't be rejected. That's basically what this comes down to you. I think for many of us who gives stuff away for free, please have this free thing = like me.


Which kind of brings me to my second point. Really, that if I sell too hard, people will leave. And I have to think a little bit about how if people are not hanging around when I'm like, “hey want some of this amazing thing? It's on an accessible pricing structure” if they're going leave at that point, I guess that they're not my people. And I'm not theirs, and that's completely fine. We don't always need to be each other’s cups of tea. It's interesting to try to extract my desire to be liked by everyone from the truth that everyone has complete free will for whatever they want in their life. I cannot manipulate that by giving my everything away in a free fall.


Which brings me to my third point, the secret suspicion that I don't think that my stuff is worth actual money. And good people give stuff away for free. I think the way I have solved this in my heart is by giving people way more than they paid for. So if someone offers me money for something, I give them a lot more value than they have actually exchanged for. And frankly, when it comes to investigating the thought that's not one that I'm unhappy with. I'm really happy with people getting loads more than they then they paid for. Hopefully they'll think of me next time. Round something comes up and they'll remember that that it was a great experience. Their interaction with me. I'm really happy with that thought.


And the final point, is that it is easier to not show up for myself if things are free. If I do things for free, in a way it doesn't matter if I get rejected or if things fail. And this is a way of undermining my own efforts.


It is hard to align my asking for money for things which I think that everyone should have access to. I want to support people’s wellbeing. I don't want anyone to be left behind, which is why I have accessible pricing on the course.


I'm really, really excited by the work that I've turned out with this course and I'm really excited by how this is all unfolding. The people who have signed up and they are already being to each other in the private Facebook group.


If you would be interested in looking at some of your goals and your dreams for next year and some time management strategies, please do have a look at www.selfcareschool.co.uk and hopefully I will see you in the group.


And if the course is of no interest to what you think your future holds whatsoever, please have a think about how much you show up for yourself, why you don't show up for yourself, and what thoughts might be causing that to happen. This is how you really turn make your dreams come true.


I wish you all the very best in all of the things that you are plotting and planning for next year. I hope to see many of them flourish.