I wonder what you’ve achieved in this time? I don’t mean how mean of your new year’s resolutions have you nailed, how many things you’ve ticked off your list or how many emails you’ve left in your inbox (though for sure count those if you want to). I am not thinking about what you have done, I am thinking about what you achieved in order to get there. I am thinking about how you spoke to yourself along the journey. I am thinking about how you treated yourself when things did not go according to plan. I am thinking about how you celebrated yourself when things did go according to plan.
If you are not out there championing yourself and celebrating your own wins, your brain is not going to get the little dopamine reward of realising the obstacles to get there were worth it. And more importantly, it is going to think the effort of building a few more neural pathways to strengthen the positive steps you took burn a bit too much energy.
We are taught out of celebrating ourselves. We are told it is not becoming, not attractive, it is loud brash and to be avoided. But what else does that sound a lot like? To me, all the reasons I ever believed I should not sing my own praises come from a place of trying to keep me in my place. They come from thought patterns of old systems of oppressions that I am trying to smash through to level the playing field where I stand to make more space for all of us.
So the more I celebrate my wins, the more my brain thinks it is ok to look for them. And the more it finds, the more it strengthens the idea that I am someone who can do the stuff I decide to, I am someone who picks themselves up when I stumble, I am someone who achieves what I have set out to do. And I am someone who does it with kindness and compassion built into the journey, not as a tick box after thought.
This year I launched my first coaching course online (an incredible group of people I have been humbled to hold space for), I have written my next course (on body image and self esteem – get ready, if this is something you are interested in, doors are opening soon, but the waiting list is here) and I have managed to choose rest when my body had been utterly bombarded by covid yet again. I stayed in bed, I slept, I rested. I asked for time off work. I stated my needs, and slowly, I am beginning to recover. That’s a lot for a two week period. But I am able to do it, find joy in it and celebrate purely because I am training my brain to look for my wins and remind myself that I can do the hard stuff to get me where I want to be. Including rest. Especially rest.
So folks, tell me what you’ve done this year, tell me your achievements and how kind you were to yourself along the way, I would love to hear it.