top of page


Perfectionism says: "Be the best"

Apart from when you’re not - perfectionism is not going to be on your side


There is such hype around trying to rise above the crowd that I began to wonder how much of our everyday lives this causes us to miss. And as I am prone to, whilst ruminating on this issue, it slapped me around the face that every area of my life where I try and be “the best” at something” it is a shield to try and deflect from things I don’t think I am good enough at.


Am I the most loving?  Well, hell, don’t look over here at the way I speak to myself.

Am I the most reliable?  Shhh – don’t notice the ways I don’t show up for myself.

Am I the first one to give? All the wrapping paper is to avoid the fact that I often don’t ask myself what I need.


So, I have made it my mission to try and celebrate a bit more average.  These days, I’m kind of average at walking.  I don’t have much energy anymore, so I’m an average cook.  I am less of a reliable friend and often opt for an early night, I’d comfortably say I am shamelessly average at timekeeping these days.


As I listen to what my body needs more, I strip back layers of trying to overexert myself in the hope other people will like me more.  And the more I have embraced being average, unsurprisingly. The more I have begun to like me more. 


I am not such a try-hard.  I’m ok with finding the glory in the micro details.  I’m pretty content in my company most of the time.  And I wear a lot less uncomfortable clothes.


It’s less exhausting. And I need less exhausting.


I used to be so scared of being vulnerable that I crafted a network of elaborate smoke screens, and frankly, it was so time-consuming trying to be all the things to everyone but myself.  And it reinforced the notion that I would not be liked if I was just plain ole average me.


Making the decision to tone it all down a bit has been in part because my health forced me to, but also because I am old enough to know if I do not like myself, there is no one who is going to be able to fill that deficit for me.


So, dear, I wonder there the relentless pursuit of excellence is exhausting you?  I wonder where you might want to exhale a little and be a bit more absolutely mediocre.


Acknowledging our humanity and our fallibility is a sweet relief in a hustle culture of do more. There’s a raw beauty in accepting that we are works in progress, every bit of us is also part of our unique identity. And that's more than enough. Because being human, rather than being the best, is absolutely liberating. 

If you want to learn more about this, hop on over to From Procrastination to Perfectionism over at

A woman stood in front of a stained glass window


bottom of page