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The discomfort of other people’s opinions

Spam Filter For Your Brain - Episode 30

I am not always sure transcripts read well as blogs, so this week, I am trying something new, and that is to rewrite things to be more useful for the eyes rather than the ears. If you prefer the straight transcripts, I would love to know. All feedback welcome. Please do drop me a line.

Lately, I've been pondering a lot about why we constantly strive to get other people to like us. We want them to think we're smart, funny, attractive, and just all-around okay. But have you ever stopped to think about why you look for external validation? It's easy to fall into this trap, especially when we're feeling insecure.

The self-help world often emphasises the importance of finding validation within yourself and not relying on others to boost your confidence. And while I totally agree with that, I also believe that there's another layer to this conversation that often gets overlooked.

What if we became comfortable with the idea that people are allowed to have different opinions about us? What if we stopped worrying about what others thought of us in any realm? What could be possible if we allowed ourselves to feel discomfort when someone doesn't like us or doesn't think we're up to par? What if we stopped taking it so personally?

For me, learning to let go of trying to control what others thought of me was life-changing. It freed up so much time and energy that I could put into things that actually mattered to me. I started focusing on finding ways to like myself and cultivate my own interests instead of trying to manipulate others into thinking I was an acceptable human being.

I realised that there will always be people who don't like me, and that's okay. It doesn't mean I'm a terrible person, and it certainly doesn't stop me from doing what I love. Whether it's creating courses, practising photography, hanging out with friends, or simply enjoying a good book, these are the things that make me happy and fulfil me.

Now, when someone doesn't like me, I don't make it mean anything about myself. I know that if I truly believe in creating a world where everyone is welcome and loved, that includes me too. And with each step, I try to align my actions with my values and strive to make everyone feel included.

So, if there's someone out there who thinks I'm a bit of a knob, that's fine. It doesn't stop me from sharing these thoughts with you and hoping that they soothe your heart in some way. Remember, you are worthy and deserving of love and acceptance, regardless of what anyone else thinks.


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