Why do I keep saying yes when I want to say no? This is something that most of us have probably thought and it really doesn't align with our politics. We know that no is a full sentence and shouldn't be defined or need any additions, and yet quite often most of us find ourselves saying yes when we might not actually want to. Underneath a lot of this is often giving ourselves a hard time for all of those other times where we said yes when we didn't really mean to.

"How do I stop caring what people think?" Is the sneaky little title of this podcast. But I kind of lured you in with a false pretext. You don't. The goal of not caring about what anyone thinks is a trap. It's something that's hardwired into us. We're meant to care about what other people think. We're social beasts.

" Why do I feel guilty for taking time for myself?" It's something that we might have said to our friends. It's probably something that you've heard friends say to you. And there's a very clear answer. The reason why we feel guilty for taking time for ourselves is because we are taught that our value lies in our usefulness.

How many times have you found yourself saying you know what you need to get done, and it just isn't happening. Knowing and doing live in completely different parts of our brain. This is why sometimes we don't treat ourselves with the same kind of morals and ethics that we would apply to everybody else. There is probably a fair bit of you that knows that your lower back really needs to do some Pilates, but actually getting down and doing it is a completely different story.

a reason why they wouldn't try coaching or frankly sign up for another course is this thought that they have, which is, "I don't want this to be another thing that doesn't work."

tell you a few things that are true that I've learnt from recording 200 episodes of a podcast that I never thought that I was gonna make in the first place. Want to talk about what I know now that I didn't know then, what I got wrong, and what turned out to be more true than I expected.

"I would never speak to somebody else like that." And we also use it for other people, " Would you speak to a friend like that?" And that's kind of where it stops. We notice that we wouldn't speak to other people in that way, and the insinuation is if you know that you wouldn't speak to someone else like that, you'd just stop doing it. But the fact is that most of us do know, and we don't stop doing it because we don't know how, and it's that missing piece of the jigsaw that

top framing people pleasing as altruism. I know that a lot of people who consider themselves to be people pleasers do so because they think that it is being nice to other people, and they think that being a people pleaser shows how much you care about people.

I want to speak to the I-don't-have-time people. It can be really easy to fall into the trap of feeling like we're not in charge of our own time when we have so much to hold, and I don't know anyone who isn't struggling with holding way more things than any one person should. We have all of the work commitments, the family commitments, our own personal health commitments, anything tech that goes wrong, we need a full tech department that takes at least a day out of our l

maybe hustling for your worth isn't the only way that's possible. And even if it feels like it's the only way that's possible right now, if we don't stop and think creatively, we're never gonna find any other solutions. I used to be firmly committed to the idea that the only way that I could manage the system was to hustle myself into exhaustion, and I would be guessing that quite a few of you have similar thoughts irrespective of what your body's up to.

I am hosting a workshop on climate anxiety. If you're someone who reads and sees a lot of the news and just wants to switch off, and you're also someone whose heart breaks every time you can see something going on, either in another planet or in your own garden, and we can see the causes and it doesn't seem like anyone in power is making any changes whatsoever, this is gonna be a workshop that's really useful for you.

I think most of us when we talk about money, the first thing that comes to mind is lack. It's money that we owe, it's money that we wish that we had, it's money that we feel like we need in order to be able to survive. What we don't often think about is having money that sustains us. We don't often think about what it might feel like to have money in the bank.

I don't think we're really taught to comprehend is the idea that we can hold conflicting thoughts. It's something that I certainly was never taught at school. It's something that in everyday politics, possibly since Brexit and beyond, there is an idea of right or wrong, good or bad, very binary, you're either with me or you're against me.

what is the difference between a rule and a boundary, and I specifically wanted to talk about this today in regards to the way that you speak to yourself. Because most of us think that boundaries are a really good idea Apart from when it comes to setting a boundary with the person in our heads that's giving us all of the bullying. My general definition is that a boundary is something that you will do when someone else does something which you do or don't want in your life,

Most of us want to change something in our lives because we want to feel something different. We think that having external circumstances change will change the way that we feel inside. I think everything that we do in life is 'cause we're trying to move towards something that we wanna feel or move away from something that we don't want to feel.

there's one just fixed static version and that that has some greater value than whatever you're putting out there now, and frankly, I call bullshit on that. I believe that the way that we show up in any situation could probably do with a lot less criticism than we give ourselves. You know quite often how to turn up in different situations, whether it's a work relationship, a friend relationship, in your family dynamics. There may be some relationships that you actually wan

I want to talk about shame and the far right. I want to talk about why you making the commitment to learning how to manage your emotions is gonna be essential over the next few years, as we are in such a political turbulent time. I think quite often self-care gets a bad rep as a bit of sort of navel-gazing indulgence for folk who have the time and money to be able to stare at themselves in the mirror and tell themselves that they love themselves 1,000 times.

Maybe you worked hard, maybe your kids are amazing, and possibly a pain sometimes. And maybe even you look at the people around you and think that your relationship isn't that bad, actually. Things could be a lot worse.

I think most of us have probably at least one friend within our circle who needs possibly more support than we can give, and in these wild times when so many of us are overstretched, it's important to try and work out how you can set boundaries that both protect your energy and protect the relationship.

I want to talk about shame and the far right. I want to talk about why you making the commitment to learning how to manage your emotions is gonna be essential over the next few years, as we are in such a political turbulent time. I think quite often self-care gets a bad rep as a bit of sort of navel-gazing indulgence for folk who have the time and money to be able to stare at themselves in the mirror and tell themselves that they love themselves 1,000 times.