Spam Filter For Your Brain - Episode 36
This week I've been thinking quite a lot about when the emotional roller coaster gets too much when all of those high-volume emotions feel like there are too many in one place at one time.
I'm in a coaching program undergoing a significant overhaul, and trying to set up a new space is challenging. Then you can take know and travel through someone reinventing their business when I was hoping and seeking support in the format I arrived in. And I am finding it interesting watching myself resist my change in an area that is held by someone authentically going through their change and me sort of spending time in this space realising that I don't want to have to challenge myself about how I manage my emotions and what comes up for me. And I must rethink how I interact and do things in a particular space because the rest of my life is hard enough.
And it has me thinking about people who may contemplate wanting to join some of the courses I run, do any work with me, or believe that any of the stuff I talk about resonates with them. But actually, they don't want to join any of the courses because it's just really hard. And sometimes, digging into this stuff can feel challenging. And maybe the rest of life feels like it's hard enough that willfully deciding making a conscious choice to do something tricky and difficult can feel like the last thing in the world that you'd want to do.
And what that viewpoint doesn't allow for is the idea that anything else could be possible. And for sure, when we're working on big emotional stuff and working through some of the ways that we got here and the reasons behind all of this stuff, it can be challenging trying to peel back all the layers and look at some of our stories and reasoning. But the other side of that is incredible; firstly, dopamine from the joy of learning and getting things transformed and finding out that you have agency. And another thing could be possible, but also that there is a possibility that you don't have to be in constant agony all of the time with anything from body image to impostor syndrome to your relationship with money to timekeeping... mostly it all boils down to being an ass to yourself.
You don't have to be an asshole to yourself all the time. Who knew?
And this week really has me thinking a lot about people who would rather not deal with any of this stuff because the familiarity of the pain that they experience now feels safer, frankly, than the idea of having to dig into this stuff and have to face a different kind of pain or a new kind of pain or anything that feels unfamiliar, because quite often unfamiliar feels dangerous. And we'd far rather deal with the devil we know than one that we think that we have a chance of bullying ourselves and saying that we brought on ourselves. Because at least if you're just sat there full of impostor syndrome, you can say, well, that's just the kind of person that I am, or that's just the ways of things are. But if you decide to work on impostor syndrome and then you start noticing a whole load of stuff coming up for you, then there's a chance that you might talk shit to yourself about how you're feeling. Because you could say, well, I chose to work on this stuff, I chose to bring these feelings up, I chose to investigate this stuff, and therefore, the pain is my "fault".
I think it is that blame that prevents us from doing so much of the emotional growth that we could do and, therefore, prevents us from finding a lot more peace in ourselves and in our lives and the world around us, frankly, because we're just scared that we're going to blame ourselves if it doesn't go right. And that completely that's so big a barrier that we can't see that there could be a time on the other side where it doesn't feel like shit all the time.
So I'm here to remind you that some of my courses enable some teachings that mean that maybe, possibly, some things might not feel shit all of the time. I have a lot of optimism in the tools that I use, and you can hear see a lot of the testimonials on SelfCareSchool. It's really revolutionary work. It means a lot to people who really go for it and really want to make a transformation in their lives. And I think if there is a chance that you could leave your days and not have a whole lot of stuff that you feel like you need to really, really stuff down just to be able to survive, or you feel like we're just not equipped to be dealing with, then that's probably one of the most important things in life, I think. To have the toolkit, to keep stretching our hearts wider and loving more and creating more inclusive spaces for everyone around us, which we can only do if we're really looking after ourselves because then we have the space and the capacity to do that. So if that is something you would like to work on, I'd love to work on it alongside you, and I hope to see you on one of the courses one day.
And if not, in the meantime, please be kind to yourself. I'll speak to you next week.