When we are socialised in a culture which blames people for their circumstances, we also apply that logic to ourselves. When we do so, it comes out in our own voice, so we think it is our opinion. Maybe we think we should have made a different career choice, or not have had that holiday or bought a lottery ticket. However this voice arrives for you, it will be very sneaky in saying you did something wrong, or you did not do something right and that is why we are where we are. It is not helped that this is also the narrative of a lot of the media and the government. The problem with thinking it is your own “fault” is that it steeps you in futility and resignation. Ruminating over this stuff causes regret, shame, guilt and anxiety, none of which are emotions which are renowned for their problem-solving capacity. Rather than treating money like a blame game. Have a think about some areas of your life where you do feel really confident and in control. And if you really can't think of any, go small: like making a cup of tea or putting your shoes on. What kind of thoughts do you have about tasks like that? What kind of emotions come up? Certainty? Clarity? Inevitability? Competence, perhaps? Maybe it is thoughts like. “I want it, so I'm going to take the steps to get it”. Or “this is what I need in this moment?” or “I'm going to get everything I need to make this happen”. Which is it for you? Put it in your own words. Because by removing the shame and judgement, we step back into our authority and power. It is from this place that we can begin to make neutral attainable steps which move us away from despair and into creative solution-finding. This is where we find outcomes not based in fear and scarcity. You may feel like money is out of your control, but the way that you think about it, the way you speak to yourself and the things you think you deserve you have access to you. All impact every area of your life.
The greatest trick toxic capitalism ever taught us is that you must work as hard as you can. And you get what you're given and it's your fault.
By shifting our mindset to one which is aligned with where we want to be, rather than one where we are trying to escape, we open ourselves up to seeking more opportunities, having the confidence to go for them and working in our best interests.