Spam Filter For Your Brain - Episode 25
This week, I wanted to touch base on something I hear a lot around me and that is getting yourself all mixed up and muddled up in other people's drama.
I hear a lot of people talking about politics in a, "Oh, they do this", or "They don't do that", or "This kind of people do this", or "They're always doing this kind of thing" - lots of pointing going on, lots of othering of different people.
And I understand that we are living in very tricky times. There is a lot of reasons to be talking about how difficult, how hard and how incorrect some of the decisions which are being made are and to be questioning, frankly, everything from your personal space through to the environment, through to borders, through to the economy and everything in between.
But what I hear a lot of in the conversations is a lot of "they are doing this", "they are this kind of people", and "this kind of people always do these things", and they are the "bad people", and I am over here with the good people. And the "good people" would not do things like that.
And it can feel very reassuring to band yourself in with the "good people" and all the mistakes and terribleness that happen out there in the world to be the "bad people". But most of the time, things are more complicated than just a good / bad binary.
Of course, there are all the things that you can probably point to immediately and identify "No! That thing is really shit. And the people who do those things are terrible, terrible people." I'm not telling you that you are wrong to think those things. In this episode, I would like to highlighter ring around the fact that when you have this idea of good, bad binary, that things are wrong or they are right, that people are good or they are bad, it is evil, or it is justice. When you have this very black-and-white thinking, the person you will use that against most is yourself.
And when you have this idea that there is only one way to be on the right side or the wrong side of the world, of history, of justice, of care of others, You are going to start rehearsing and practising this muscle in your brain that teaches you that there is no nuance, there's no complication. You either have it absolutely sorted, or you are wrong.
And there are probably very few things in your life where you feel you have it absolutely sorted, whether it is in your relationship, your family, your body image, your goal setting, or your work environment; There are probably very few things where you feel you've absolutely nailed it 100%, and if you don't have it 100%, then you're probably going to be telling yourself you're a in with the "bad people", or you're wrong or you haven't got it right.
I'm not saying that you can't look at what is going on politically and judge it all you like. But if you are using that kind of thinking and it's not making you feel good about yourself, maybe there might be some other ways to frame it. Maybe people might just be making decisions that they think are right and you don't have to agree with what they think is right. Or maybe as I have chosen to a lot lately, I don't get myself involved in things that I'm not witnessing personally. People tell me "these people are doing this kind of thing" or "that person did that thing on social media", or "they always receive these kind of comments", unless I can witness it myself, I don't know who "these people" are unless you can actually show me.
And this has enabled me to have a lot more time for the things that I care about that I want to create, rather than getting all lost in what other people may or may not be doing with their lives. And this kind of extra level of energy enables me to have some spare energy to create things that will inclusive, like my coaching courses, which I offer free for anyone who wouldn't normally be able to afford them. So for the group coaching courses, I have tiered pricing. So it is one price if you can afford it, there's a concession rate and if anyone would not normally be able to afford access to so self care or any kind of they're in a tricky situation, they can just come along. And I'm able to do that from a place of being in alignment with giving and having the energy and the headspace to be able to create something like that in the world. I don't know that I would be able to do that if I was all lost in pointing out what other people should be doing better. Perhaps I would, but I don't know that I could do it as well or create it as wholeheartedly. And I try and do that and all of the work that I do.
And the more that I have stuck in my own story, and looked at what impact I can have on the world rather than the impact that I think other people shouldn't be having on the world. The more energy, the more space in my heart I have, and frankly, the more time I have in my world to be able to create more of the things that I want to see.
So my invitation to you this week is maybe to just notice where you are calling things good or bad, right or wrong, left or right, and just notice where there might be a possibility, that there could be nuance, and probably more often than not, things and nearly always a bit more complicated than they seem.
This is been an episode of opinions like all the rest of them. I hope you have a beautiful week.