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When You Want It All To Stop Spinning

Updated: May 30

Spam Filter For Your Brain - Episode 78

How do you stop it all spinning when it all feels a little bit too much? I think most of us have reached a point at some point in our lives where it all just feels a little bit much. We don't want to do any kind of selfcare work that we don't really want to do very much. We just want a little moment to ourselves where it all stops spinning and we can just pause and gather, gather our cells, gather our resources and just work out what the hell we're doing and what the hell we're doing here.

When these situations arise for me, I quite often think about in ballet classes when I was younger, when I was more mobile, we used to have a lot of concentration on the idea of spotting. I know those of you who have, who've ever done any dance classes are probably well aware of this, but it's something that you definitely will have seen even if you don't know it. And if you imagine a ballerina, how can she spin and pirouette and do all of these moves without getting dizzy and without falling over and be able to find her place? And what often happens is we are trained and taught to find one spot directly in front of us and focus on that spot. And we keep our eyes on that spot for as long as we possibly can as we are turning and rotating. And as soon as we get to a point where we cannot keep looking at it a moment longer, we flip our heads around and whip it all the way around and focus back on that spot again.

So when you watch a ballerina, what you will notice is they are looking dead ahead, their face is facing forward, their body is rotating, and then their head whips round, and the body carries on rotating at the same speed. And while I'm not trying to create a little vision of a whirling dervish, I seem to have done that here. This whole analogy of just finding something to focus on that is directly ahead of you. No matter what else is going on around you, no matter where, it feels like you're flailing elsewhere. I find that one spot of focus to be a really good analogy for how you can get through things where it all feels like it's spinning out of control. What is the one thing that you know is going to anchor you into the way that you want to be moving, the way you want to be feeling the person that you want to be today? And it doesn't need to be massive. It could be "Today, I want to be kind", or "Today, I'm going to answer two emails", and "Today, I'm going to hang up my laundry."

What is the one thing that you can commit to that you're going to be able to get to the end of the day? And go, I did that for myself. I promised myself I was going to do that thing and I kept that promise to myself.

It's just about finding an anchor to be able to move yourself forward rather than feeling like you're caught at the crossroads, spinning in indecision and being lost in the great big abyss of the big everything.

By taking it tiny, sometimes we can just have the momentum and the courage to move forward in one tiny step and it stops us feeling so lost at sea.

So, what are the things that you might need in situations like this? Is it what your body needs? When was the last time you did a little body scan and a little check-in and asked yourself what it was that your body was craving? Is it what your heart needs? Is there something that you're not listening to? Is there something that you could just feel there is a little space for you speaking to yourself a little bit more kindly or a thought or a phrase that you're willing to drop and not criticise yourself about today? Is it just checking in with this very moment as you're listening to this? Is it feeling the points of contact where your feet touch the ground, and your bum touches the seat? Or if you're out walking, wherever you are, what's in your hands? What can you feel? Maybe it's the air rushing into your nose, past tiny little hairs. Can you smell the temperature of the air? What brings you back to the now that takes you away from all of those huge, great, big feelings? Just finding something that is going to anchor you in, being able to show up today as the person that you want to be, to be a better friend to yourself. Where can you bring more kindness into your world today? Just a little question I'm going to leave you with.

And if you find that it's all spinning a little bit too much, please do reach out. I love to support you to be able to find the thing that you can focus on to anchor you through to the next step.

Do take very good care of yourselves. I'll speak to you again next week.


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