You know what is wrong with people pleasers?
Nothing. Not a single thing.
It is something so many of us have been taught for a number of reasons:
💗 To be "nice"
💗 To be liked
💗 Because it makes us feel like we have purpose
And there is NOTHING WRONG with any of those things.
But… and there is a but…
They all rest on the idea that you have to DO things be nice, to be liked, to feel like you have a purpose. And what this really links back to on a basic level is “I need to do these things so I feel feel worthy.”. But what if you were already worthy?
I don't believe we have to prove ourselves. I believe that each person is worthy of love, care, safety and respect, just because they exist.
And you might think I am wrong. But how is that working out for you? Because I know when I was spending all my time people pleasing, it was never enough. I never did enough nice things. I never felt safe in being liked (spoiler: trying to get other people to like you when you don't like yourself is empty validation calories) and I certainly never felt like I was doing enough to call it a “purpose”.
If doing all of the things for everyone else is working out for you - seriously, I am so happy for you. But I hear a lot of people feeling lost, overwhelmed, and frankly a bit resentful that all their efforts are not being recognised.
This is why I wrote September's course. Because I want you to be able to exist and spend time working out what brings you joy and pleasure - not constantly trying to second guess what other people might think of you.
If you'd like more of your time, and more of yourself back, join us this September.
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For the People Pleasers is open for enrolment now
✨Sign up here:✨
www.selfcareschool.co.uk/p/peoplepleasing
The course is accessible pricing:
Pay what you can and free if you need it