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Want to know the secret reason why it is important to get good at forgiving?

Updated: Apr 11

It can feel relatively easy, if wildly uncomfortable, to sit in anger and resentment when someone has done something wrong. We can get really good at cementing how bad they are, how terrible that thing they did is, and how they never should have said that.

And each time you run that story on a loop, it strengthens the connection in your brain which says this bad thing was done by a bad person, and therefore people who do bad things must be bad people.

That might sound well and good. But the person we use this against most is ourselves.

If you have equated mistakes with moral value or have been actively practising this thought, that when an error occurs, people do not get redemption; you're not going to have a magical compassion epiphany when it is you who makes a mistake (and we all do). You will already be wading through the murky pond of shame and embarrassment, and we can get pulled under if we're not careful.

And this is a problem because it is by being willing to make mistakes and get things wrong that we learn stuff. And if you're going to be mean to yourself when you get things wrong, you're probably not going to try.

So, in this big old game of life, the irony is that practising forgiveness for other people ultimately benefits you. You build better ways of humanising your own interactions and get better at being willing to be vulnerable, which is an essential skill for growth and learning.

The secret reason why learning the skill of forgiveness is so important is that It teaches you more about yourself than any other option ever can.


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