Why I try and mess up regularly
This year I am aiming to get more things wrong. Not deliberately sabotaging – but embracing that missing up is part of the process of trying.
It is a lovely theory that mistakes aren't something to be ashamed of, but it is a bit more painful than that in reality. But the more I train my brain to look for lessons and do not get lost in the drama, the more this response becomes an available path for me. I actively choose to look for the opportunity for me to learn and grow. With every mistake I make, I learn something new and discover what works and what doesn't. I take advantage of this knowledge and use it to my advantage, and sometimes use it to my calm and sometimes I use it to my joy and sometimes I use it to identify what I never want to do ever again – but I use it. This encourages me to make decisions in the future which are in alignment with my values and purpose Mistakes can be a way to gain experience and confidence, if you let them. Taking risks and making mistakes will helps me become more resilient, as I learn new ways to consciously pick myself up and keep going even when I fall flat on my face – and the more I do this without a layer of self-critisism and judgment, the more I am willing to try new things, creative things, out of my comfort zone things – and you know what, some of those things might just work.
But not if I do not try.
And the easiest way I have found to not be willing to try to not be willing to fail.
My mistakes are the stepping stones towards success, not because I manage to learn from every one, but because each time I am strengthening the neural pathway in my brain which says “I can try new things” “Embarrassment does not kill me” “rejection is hard and I can do hard things”. They are the experiences I choose go through in order to reach my goals. And my goal it to make my coaching work and the tools I teach accessible to everyone who needs them, and that means in order to continue to offer free spaces I need to sell a lot of paid spaces. And in order to achieve that, I have be willing to put myself out there agai and again and be willing to be rejected again and again. And I am. Because I believe this is work is so important.
No one can live a life without ever making a mistake, yet we all spent so much energy trying to avoid them at all costs. When we reframe this as every mistake is a chance to learn how to get back up again, it becomes an exercise in creative tenacity rather than a judgement of our intelligence.
My mistakes are the only things that allow for my wins. Without them, I wouldn't be able to learn, grow, or get anywhere closer to my goals. They are not just the key to my success, they are in fact the path itself. And if this is the road I choose to travel, to create more equity within self-care and emotional wellbeing spaces, then I am committed to getting things wrong as many times as it takes for me to build this dream.