Updated: Dec 31, 2022
When was the last time you said no to something at work?
Or did you just sit there and resent it?
I want to share a top tip for creating more space in your diary and a top tip to take you one step further away from overwhelm.
Question why it is you want to rest in the first place. It is such a common there we have rarely sent tie identifying our own personal reasons.
Just telling yourself you’re exhausted is not going to serve as a good motivator as your are just reminding yourself what you do not want. When you focus on the negative you can easily spiral into all the other things which are terrible or where this shows up for you.
If you magically got the afternoon off today, you’d probably catch up on some chores or go for a nap.
But what if you suddenly found out we’re allowed three day weekends? You would probably plan some fun things you may enjoy or spend some time doing things you love with the people you love.
Your brain is a dopamine seeker - it does not know the difference between you doing things you love or just thinking about the things you love. So all those good vibes you get when you have had the best day with the best people, are available to you right now - just by thinking about them. The more detail the better.
However, if you are only concentrating on how the washing up won’t be done when you get home and it will probably be raining anyway, your brain gets no reward.
So when it comes to things like setting boundaries with your colleagues or risking your boss being grumpy, your brain is probably going to tell you it is not worth the effort. Because your brain HATES effort. It suspects (quite rightly) that you are trying to trick it into change. And change precedes possible DANGER. So your brain will tell you all of the reasons this is a terrible idea (and why it has never worked in the past). But you can distract it by thinking about the rewards of all of the good things which could be possible in your free time - and this is how you anchor yourself in your own reasons.
So next time you don’t want to that shift or you are not going to get the report submitted on time if you are expected to to the work which has just been plonked on your desk, do yourself a favour and imagine that 3 day weekend and all of the reasons why we need to practice saying no in the workplace.
The more we do it, the more time we have to the rest of our lives.