I wanted to write a blog about the feelings that can steer us away from learning new things. I have heard several people say they are concerned about signing up for my courses as they are scared it could become another thing they do not follow through with, and then they would use it as evidence against themselves that they are not good enough.
It is so interesting to me that we often see people imagining what will go wrong for them, not what could go right. Especially as most of us think this is our own personal flaw. Often, I think it is not going wrong that worries them, but we are all terrified of what they will say to us if they do not reach the impossibly high targets we have set ourselves.
And this sense of isolation compounds it – that we are the only ones worried about messing things up and then worrying about the worrying - like it is a unique flaw.; when, in truth, most of us are doing it.
And this is one of the most magical things about group work – you realise all of those little secrets we keep from the world (and often from ourselves) turn out to be something someone else has been struggling with, too. And none of us operate in isolation. But we can certainly make it feel like we do.
And it leads me to wonder, if this thought is showing up here, about my courses, that you cannot try because you may get things wrong or that you cannot start right now or that you have to wait until the perfect conditions, where else might this thought be showing up in your life and sabotaging you?
I would love to help you work on some of this stuff, but if enrolling in a course right now is not for you, that’s fine. I do not claim to know more about you than you do (people on the courses often find this infuriating – but I trust you know your own answers – I just ask the awkward questions). But either way, I invite you to get curious about what could be possible for you if you did not speak to yourself unkindly, no matter what you did. What would that life look like?
It may sound like a pipe dream, but I promise it is possible. I am proof. And so are the hundreds of people I have coached.
However, you find it. I wish you gentleness and the space to allow mistakes with compassion. Because this is how we grow. And if you’d like to do this alongside other people who will teach you so much about yourself, we’re just over here: www.SelfCareSchool.co.uk
Let me know, and I will pop the kettle on.