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Self-Care in Solitude: Looking After Yourself When No One’s Watching

Updated: May 23

It's easy to perform self-care when we are documenting it for social media or our mates are holding us accountable, but when you are on your own, and the shit really hits the fan – how do you look after yourself then?


Caring for oneself in private is the raw, unpolished practice of self-love. It's in these quiet moments we truly honour our needs. Or, fall back into old coping mechanisms.  Personally, I think it is important not to demonise ourselves for this, as these are things which may have served a purpose in the past, but it is important to remember, we get to choose whether they are things we wish to continue to fall back on. 


And what we could do differently.


We are sold selfcare as the idea of “indulging” in a long bath, reading a book, or simply sitting with our thoughts (mate hate you met my thoughts…?) – like these acts are the silent oaths to enlightenment.  But if that all feels a bit Instagram pukey, what could work for you?  Calling an old friend?  Not calling a mate but writing them a letter.  Re-reading your favourite poem?  Dancing your arse off to your favourite song for as long as it takes the kettle to boil.  Deciding to make a sofa fort and turn your phone off for the evening?  Maxing out your credit card and booking a beach holiday? What feels good to YOU?  If you could not document or tell anyone about it?  What does that kind of selfcare feel like when no one is watching?


Because we can forget ewe have the knowledge that we do know what we really need, when we are not performing wellness or ideals.  But most of us need to slow down enough to remember.


Most of the time, when I have had the presence of mind and connection to ask my body "What do I need?" I am normally always et with a very clear answer.


I wonder if you may be too.  

An Asian woman with a sparkler


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