Updated: Jun 8
Life can be tough; sometimes, it feels like no matter what we do, we can't seem to catch a break. It's in these moments that it's most important to remember our own strength and to lean into community resilience.
We all have incredible resilience, But modern life tests this so much. But sometimes, it takes more courage to slip into tenderness rather than survival mode. It is a practice and something which, the more we do, the more it becomes available for us to choose.
That's where the idea of self-love comes in. When we cultivate a deep, abiding love for ourselves, we give ourselves the foundation we need to be resilient and face life's challenges head-on. Which is a cute idea, but not so easy when the cleaning needs doing, when you are worried about your bills and, in the later stages of capitalism, seem to be annihilating your dreams on a daily basis.
So, how do we develop this kind of self-love, no matter what is going on? Here are a few tips to get started.
Practice Self Care Self-care is all about taking care of your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. This can mean different things to different people, but some common examples include:
Getting enough sleep Your version of enough will be very personal. But explore more ways that you can reach that optimal amount for yourself.
Eating well Food which nourishes you in ways which offer you joy and nourishment.
Spending time in nature If you can and if you want to, but sometimes if you can't, opening your window and feeling the air on your face, or taking a bath and reminding yourself what water is like and connecting you with the natural world in ways that work for you in your life and your body.
Indulge in hobbies and interests Find something you do for yourself, just for the creativity or the joy rather than the productivity in the outcome.
Spending time with loved ones And that includes phone calls or writing letters, or connecting in a way that works for you.
Practising mindfulness and meditation In a way that helps you reconnect with yourself? Maybe your version of meditation is having a kitchen disco. Your version of mindfulness is giving yourself an extra 10 minutes to walk more slowly rather than rushing somewhere. Work out how these things connect to your life and work them in your way. If you're using mindfulness and meditation to berate yourself in brand new ways that you're not getting things right, They're probably not serving you.
Embrace Your Authenticity One of the most significant barriers to self-love is feeling like we're not enough - that we don't measure up to others' expectations or society's standards. But the truth is, there's no one way to be "perfect." and despite what your brain (or instagram) tells you, this ABSOLUTELY applies to self care. We each have our own unique gifts and strengths, and the more we embrace our authenticity, the more we can tap into our inner power and resilience. So, take some time to reflect on what makes you uniquely you. What are your values, your passions, and your talents? When you can fully embrace these things and live in alignment with them, you'll find that self-love and resilience come more naturally.
Cultivate Gratitude It can be easy to get caught up in all the things that are going wrong in our lives. But when we focus on what we're grateful for, we shift our perspective and start to see the world in a more positive light. This means paying attention to the challenges we're facing. Rather, it's about recognising that even amid adversity, there are still things to be thankful for.
And you're one of them. I think with messages like this; it can often feel like we're externalising the worthiness. When we remember to put ourselves on the list, When we get knowledge, the incredible things your body does for you. It can begin to feel more like you're walking around in a place that feels safe. And from here, gratitude feels safe and more accessible.
Lean into Support We don't have to go through life's challenges alone. There are people in our lives who care about us and want to help. Whether it's a close friend, a family member, or a therapist, don't be afraid to reach out and lean into that support. When we surround ourselves with people who love and support us, we build a network of strength that can help us weather even the toughest storms. So, if you're feeling overwhelmed or struggling with resilience, reach out for help. You don't have to do this alone. Connecting to community and asking for support, get counselling, or coaching are setting down the roots for your self care.
Embrace the Power of Radical, Loving Responsibility Ultimately, the key to building self-love is taking radical, loving responsibility for our lives.
I hope that what you'll notice about this list is that each one of these things needs to be done in your way, in a way that fits your life, your personality, in your world. We have a propensity to try and add our perfectionist thinking to everything we do, including our self-care. And this doesn't encourage us to do it. And it means we don't get as much out of it as possible. When we prioritise self-care, we give ourselves the space and time we need to recharge and refocus. This, in turn, helps us build the resilience we need to tackle whatever life throws our way.
There's no extra medal for doing it on your own. Your sense of calm is waiting. Go join her.