Stop Emotional Outsourcing and Start Living With Joy with Beatriz Victoria Albina
- HeardinLondon
- 2 days ago
- 22 min read
Spam Filter For Your Brain - Episode 179
Anna: So I just wanted to do a little introduction to what is a very different podcast this week for us.
This week I am in conversation with the wonderful, wonderful. Bea Albina, who is an incredible teacher who has taught me so much about nervous system dynamics, how we can check in with ourselves, and most importantly, how we can check in with our own joy.
Her commitment to making really big concepts accessible and digestible is something that I have appreciated for years, and so I am elated to have invited her into conversation here for her to to talk about her work, her angle on life, and also to be telling you about her fabulous new book.
Stick around to the end where, due to some time differences, Bea was late for her meeting and I was banging on about being allergic to elephants and how we navigate our feelings about that.
It was a wonderful conversation. I was elated to have it. So I hope you enjoy. Welcome to this week's podcast.
Anna: So it is a very different podcast episode this morning than the ones that we are normally used to on Spam Filter for Your Brain because I have the most incredible, gorgeous, beautiful guest here, Bea is someone who I reached out to, to invite onto the podcast when I think of you. I think of nervous system knowledge. I think of deep learning and. The reason why I specifically wanted to invite you to come and speak to my people is no matter how many fabulous intersectional brains and wealth of information you impart onto people, the essence of all of your teaching Bea is so kind.
It is the way that you put yourself. Across and the way that you share your knowledge is just so heartfeltly compassionate towards the people that you speak to. I love your approach. I love the way that you teach, and I would love to introduce you to my people. So I open the floor to you. Would you like to tell people who you are and where you've come from?
Bea: Oh my goodness gracious. Um, thank you. I really appreciate that. I feel very honored by your kind words and, um, kindness and compassion are the core of, I believe, why I was sent to this planet. And so you're seeing that and starting with that and not she has a master's degree from, like, it, it's, it really is warming a, a very special part of my heart.
Um, so thank you. I really, that's very, very sweet. So, shall I say all the words?
Anna: Please Tell people why I him just so envious of your brilliant brain.
Bea: Oh, you goose, you goose potato. So, um, I use she her pronouns. I am holding the most gorgeous black cat that has ever existed. Um, his name is Wade Elizabeth, and I am by training.
I I am A-U-C-S-F trained family nurse practitioner. I have a master's degree in public health. I am a somatic experiencing practitioner and a master certified life coach, and I am the host of the Feminist Wellness Podcast and author of the bestselling book End Emotional Outsourcing, how to Overcome Your Codependent, perfectionist, and People Pleasing Habits, and I am also a certified silly goose.
Which I think is really important. I was certified by this cat.
He, um, very he runs a certification. It's like a whole, it's a whole academy. So
Anna: my, uh, my background, I don't think we've got into discussing this at all. And most people on the podcast were known, but not everybody that, my background is circus.
So before I got into the coaching world, my, my background is circus and a lot of the workshops for survivors work that we do, we also do a lot of, um. Tying in circus to try and help people reconnect with their body after they have experienced either trauma or any difficulties and, and historical problems with their bodies trying to use play and joy to reconnect with their bodies.
So we use things like, , we use things like trapeze to do, to hold people for trust and core strength, and to take safe risks in environments that you are learning to trust your body. Again, we have acrobatics for consensual touch, for being able to hold people and lift people and be able to convert about what is and isn't.
Okay. My favorite workshop that we're not actually running at the moment, but it has been one of my favorite ones that we actually, they're all my favourite, but we had a clown teaching elders how to fall over safely. Like we use a lot of the physical stuff to be able to connect, reconnect with people's joy and trust and try and learn and play , to be able to experience what it could be like with a different narrative.
And of course, with the co the thought work and the coaching that I do, combining these things together can be super important. The thing that I feel is your amazing skill level is looking at the nervous system work and all of the regulation. You, I think like that that idea of the joy is something that you bring into all of the work that I see.
Bea: Yeah. 'cause like if not, what else are we doing this for? Like what is the point? Of all the yoga or circus or, uh, I don't know, healing retreat in Bali and all the journaling and all the naval gazing, if not to be a more grounded oriented, present font of joy and love in the world. Like what, what else, what else is there really?
Anna: I think it can be. So a lot of this work can be seen to be so with hold, so much gravitas. It's also serious right? Over time. And what very
Bea: serious,
Anna: like what I love about your teaching is, you know, like I think if you, I don't think I've ever seen a work, you teach a workshop where if things look like they were getting a little bit too serious, you didn't like insist on a dance break.
This is like something that I think of you, you know that as one of your forte's.
Bea: Listen, people don't realize the healing power of the Conga. People don't know. You know what I mean?
But
Anna: you're, you're replacing that. You're spreading the word. And I,
Bea: Phil Collins will soothe your soul. What does, what is a sasudio?
I don't know, but I'm gonna dance about it. Yeah.
Anna: Yeah. We are all there.
Bea: And like the thing is, so emotional outsourcing is, let me define our term here. It's uh, when we chronically and habitually source our sense of the three most vital human needs, safety, belonging, and worth from everyone and everything outside of ourselves.
It is the term I would like to see replace codependent, perfectionist, and people pleasing because I think those terms keep us trapped in an identity where we are not a central character in our lives. Right? We, we are deferential. When it comes to like, how do you feel? What do you want for dinner? What career would you like?
We are deferential to others and their opinions and their thoughts and their feelings. And them, them, them, them, them. So when I point us towards joy, what I'm pointing us towards is being self-referential.
Not in some narcissistic way, but in a like, who are you and can you be your own north star?
Anna: It's so important what, what you just said there, it just brought up such a stark thought for me about how when you are deferring to other people with that authority, what you are reminding yourself is that you can't be trusted and that you are unsafe.
Like disturbing your own sense of self trust and so all of the building and supporting all of those things that you, you taught in a way when you, you talked about that trifecta of all of these three pillars. In a way, it sounds like you're building a sense of yourself being home. Yeah, and I think a lot of the world ills can be, or, and pain points can be put down to individuals and collective groups like searching for that sense of home. Yeah. And to try and build a sense of home within yourself. Was that what was coming up for me when I was just hearing you give that description?
Bea: I'm so glad to hear that. Right?
Because that's really what it is. Because how can we live happy, healthy lives where we are well? If we are not looking internally. To know, like, so put it really simply like to know what's up.
Anna: Mm-hmm.
Bea: You know what I mean?
Anna: Where we are within that place of what's up? and who do we want to be in response to what's up? , all of those things.
Bea: Totally. Totally. And also like, do you have to pee? Right? Because like. It's like, let's bring it back to our biological impulses. Right? Like we are ignoring our bodies to our own detriment. We don't rest, we don't stop. Right? We don't. We just go, go, go. Caring for others, caring for others, caring for others, doing, giving, giving, doing, doing.
We don't pee. It's fine. It's fine. I'll just hold it for another half hour. It's fine, it's fine. Let's, let me get dinner done. Just lemme get this in the oven. Just let me just, let me just let. Yeah. Right. We don't feed ourselves.
Anna: I think it's so interesting. I, I'm sure you do a lot of, um, you know, I know that you do a lot of work online as well.
I actively encourage people to eat on Zoom calls because there that thing, like what, what are you doing being hungry while you're trying to do all of this, like, self-care work. This is not self-care like Yeah. You know, it's so interesting and what that brings up for people about, you know, of course you can have your camera off, but to be able to see yourself eating as well.
All of these thoughts that you have and the judgements that come up about watching yourself listen to your body's basic needs. Yeah. I think is so interesting.
Bea: Yeah. Yeah. It really changes the way we make decisions for ourselves. The ways we position ourselves as capable or not in our own minds, our own hearts, our own bodies, right?
So if we're talking about confidence, if we're talking about asking for a raise, if we're talking about leaving an abusive marriage, if we're talking about what do you want for dinner, right? We can go wicked small, we can go enormous. If you are not your reference point, um. Well,
Anna: so
Bea: something's gonna be right?
Anna: So what, what I'm hearing when you are saying that, and I'm, what I'm thinking about is that I'm sure that a lot of people who are listening to this are like, "yeah, that sounds like a lovely theory, but actually I'm not my own reference point. I'm really used to asking other people what they want and really used to putting everyone first.
'cause that makes me a good person. Right?" Totally. If someone was in this position where they're like, "yeah, that sounds like a really cute theory. Bea, I am so far from that".
Bea: Yeah.
Anna: What do you think might be a really beautiful, gentle, tiny first step? Yeah. Yeah. For someone to be able to be going, Hmm, what might I want here?
Or am I even in this picture?
Bea: Yeah. For sure. So I wanna say two things. One, the story that your people want you deferring to them for. Everything is complete bs. It's complete bs. Like whether you're a parent or not. Just picture someone going, "mom, mom", that's your name, right? "Mom, mom, mom. What should I eat?
What should I do? What should I, what should I, what should I, what should I?" That's annoying and exhausting and frustrating, like. If you're doing that to your friends and your family, "we can have whatever you want for dinner. Don't worry. Oh, we can go on holiday wherever you want. Oh, uh, do you think I need a coat?
Do you what? I dunno. I just can't tell what I feel" like. Really put yourself in the other shoes for like a hot minute as a way to begin to like dissolve that story that deferring is kindness. Deferring is transferring responsibility for your life to someone else, and people who actually love you and care about you don't want that responsibility, right?
Someone who there, you know what I'm saying? So let's just start there. A number one. Number two, how do we actually do this? Yeah. So in my world, I talk about how baby steps are ridiculous. I am insulted by baby steps. A baby's foot is, were you ever, were you a baby Anna banana at some point?
Anna: Yeah. It's funny.
Like,
Bea: or have you met a baby
Anna: a while ago? But I, I was quite smaller, but it happened. Yeah.
Bea: You were quite smaller. Right. But was your foot still like a solid three inches? I mean, it's like, that's enormous. Come on, like four or five centimeters. That's a lot. That's a big step. So in my world, we take newborn baby kitten steps, which we're like talking millimeters compared.
Do you see how quickly I switched into your units of measure? I, I'm impressed with me. I must say.
Anna: I am very impressed
Bea: with Thank you. Thank
Anna: you.
Bea: Inches can go to he double hockey sticks. So listen, we take the tiniest step. Why? 'cause we're mean, we're mean to ourselves. "You should have done more. Well, somebody didn't get enough done today.
Oh, you're not growing fast enough. You're not healing fast". Drop it. It's not based in science. It's actually antithetical to all the research about change. Maybe somebody has a master's in public health around here. Meow. Right? Like the study, the studies show that small incremental change over time is change that sticks.
So tell that perfectionist part. No thank you. Take the tiniest step and the tiniest step is setting an alarm for three times a day. When that alarm goes off on your phone, you pause what you're doing, you feel your feet on the floor, and you ask yourself, what am I feeling right now? And then you ask yourself, what sensations are present in my body?
Right? So 9.98 outta 10 of us with emotional outsourcing are going to hear and feel the full response of, "oh my God, I don't know what, I don't, what am I feeling? I don't feeling a sensation. Uh", that's great. That's great because it's, it's not about hearing the answer. The answer is irrelevant. Okay. You're tired and your feet are heavy, you're happy and your chest is bright. Okay. That's not what's relevant. What's relevant is the ask. You see how we even kittens stepped that? What's relevant is I care enough about me, I matter enough to me, this, this life matters enough to me to ask me about it, to be self-referential, to, to do this pattern interruption where like for one hot minute I matter.
So yeah, if you, if, "what do I feel?: Oh, what body sensations Oh get. I don't know. Okay, great. Great. How's that feel as a starting point?
Anna: That's gorgeous. I love, I love , there's two juicy things that are bubbling in my brain from listening to what you were saying there. The deferring to other people and you talking about it as being irritating.
I can imagine people using that as another stick to beat themselves with. And the kind of flip side of that, I think is that it's actually not kind to the people that you love because what you're doing is giving them less of the person that they love. Yes. You're just like dissolving yourself into some malleable piece of like.
You know, you are not showing up as like, where, where are you when you are asking everyone else what all of your life decisions are, you are giving them less of the thing that they, they've chosen to spend their time and energy and heart around. Like, where are you for them in that?
I always say that people pleasing is an anomaly because nobody is pleased, and it's not acknowledging that you are a person. Who are the people that you're pleasing? Absolutely, no one, like both of those things are aligned.
Bea: Yeah. Yeah.
Anna: And that idea of these kind of kitten steps of like, I love the, the idea of it being like so tiny that you're just like making the ask, but I like the acknowledgement as well in amongst all of there, which I know that you know, but you didn't, you didn't mention, and I just wanna make sure that people really clocked in on, is the commitment to your own wellbeing that you even bothered to say yes.
That you chose to do it for yourself and you chose to do it ahead of time, and that you're actually acting it through before you even get to the question you've already said that you have value and your, your needs are worth making time for. And I think that's beautiful.
Yeah.
Bea: Yeah. Thank you. Thanks for clocking that last part and saying it because, right. Um, motivation is bs. It's not real, especially in this dopamine economy. Commitment's, everything. Ritual is everything. Not routine. Who wants a routine? Get outta here. Right? Ritual.
Anna: Ritual, like turn it into a game, turn it into a spell, whatever it means that you get round to doing it where it feels more playful and it is some like time mechanism.
Let's get it in the diary thing. Like cute, everyone's got time management.
Bea: Yeah.
Anna: But like how can we get this to be something that you want to do something that's delicious for you? I think these kind of the ways that we can, yeah. I wouldn't say trick ourselves, but like, play with making these things a part of our routine and our day is really important.
Bea: Yeah. Make it easeful and don't let your brain tell you it takes too much time or you don't have time for it. Yeah, that's, that's just conditioning. It has. That's not real.
Anna: Yeah. Yeah, coming. When you're talking about giving your sort of essence, your essence away, I guess, by deferring to other people, something that I was thinking about, quite a lot in the lead up to our conversation, obviously your, your book is about emotional outsourcing and codependency is one of those interesting words that I think that everybody knows, but I'm not sure that everybody thinks that they're talking about the same thing because very few people define it for themselves. Right? And something that comes up in coaching calls a lot on conversations that I have a lot, is this idea that people find it very hard to shift: whatever we do, we have to be very careful about because we cause other people's feelings and we are the emotional gatekeeper of everybody else's wellbeing and we need to play nicely or other people will be hurt and I think you've probably got a shit load to say about that. So I just wanted to open that, open that trap door and let you roll.
Bea: I think it starts with redefining codependent habits as managing other people to attempt to feel safe.
Anna: Mm.
It's never kind to manage someone else, and I think we've all been quite bamboozled to think it is, you know? And I think that part of what it comes down to is not trusting ourselves that we are genuine, loving, and kind. So a lot of the concern I get is, well, when I turn into a selfish jerk in a big meanie pants, if I'm not being codependent? Baby, baby, baby, if you're worried about it, I'm not worried about it.
Anna: Yeah.
Bea: You know what I mean? Like my abusive ex was never worried that they might be too kind to me. Never.
Anna: Yeah,
Bea: ever. I'm sure that's never crossed their mind while they were like screaming at me, et cetera. You know what I'm saying?
Anna: Yeah.
Bea: But I would worry. I would worry.
Anna: Yeah.
Bea: Right. So if you are the one who's like, "Ugh, I just don't wanna be some selfish jerk", it really starts with getting to know yourself.
Do write down your values and look at them daily and start doing work to see where exactly you're living into your values every day. And now, if you claim to value, kindness and honesty, is it honest and kind to manage other people such that they don't have a feeling?
About you or like in the world? "I, I don't want him to be upset". Like "if I, I don't pack his lunch, then he's just not gonna have a nutritious lunch, and then he's gonna be upset". How about you? How about you let him be upset? And what that comes down to is not assigning our value system to other people's emotional worlds.
And not believing that we know what's best for others. And I think what's really hard in there is, is frankly white supremacy, right? That has cooked into all of us and has led most of us, and especially I think, especially white women, to believe that, "well, we know what's best. We know what the best thing for them to think and feel and experience is", right?
It's like when your kid falls in the playground, do you rush over to them and go, "oh my God, are you okay? Oh, you had such a bad fall", or do you wait five seconds to see if they're gonna start screaming or they're gonna turn around and go, "I fell" and stand up and like keep running. We rush into project our worries onto others and then we create their experience.
And I don't think that's a kindness.
Now, am I saying to be a meanie pants, get out of town? Never. But am I saying to let other people fail. Don't let them fail by like falling off a cliff. But in our like day to day. Let other people get frustrated. Let them get angry. Let them get sad. Let them have their human experience within the realm of like safety, right?
But it's not a kindness to keep people from having big feelings because you are scared of having them yourself.
'Cause that's the thing, right?
Anna: Not allowing other people to have their, their feelings always comes back to the fact that you are not gonna be comfortable with your thoughts about them having feelings and what you said there about your idea of aligning your values with how you respond to other people, I think is also baked into that. Is that idea of your worth being tied to them being okay.
Totally.
And that's what circles back to this, this white supremacist idea that has been, as you say, baked into all of us that , everything must be "alright" and "neutral" and "fine", so that I can be happy.
One of the most frequent conversations that I have when people first contact me about coaching is like, "this sounds kind of nice, but I'm "fine". I'm "fine"!"
I often think of, our mutual friend Kara being like, "well, what if you are fucking amazing?"
Just like stepping up a level, like how do you, how do you level up from there? Like fine is, is so neutral that it's, you know, it's tasteless and actually that idea of making everything so flat, I think is what you are talking about. That idea of the, the white supremacist idea of everything having to be how I think it should be in order for everything.
Bea: Oh, for sure. Yeah, it's the white gray interior and Mar-a-Lago fa Wow. That's heading into another direction altogether. I won't take us there, but... next time we'll talk about that. But yeah, it's the like bland, gray, white interior to your life. I don't know, man. I'm, I'm from Latin America. I want colour. I want fun.
I want noise. I want sound. I want vibrancy. I want a life that's outstanding.
Anna: Mm,
Bea: outstanding.
Anna: Yeah. I'm going for exquisite, delicious.
Bea: Listen, gimme, gimme, gimme. But, but also like I get to create that.
Anna: Mm-hmm.
Bea: With a dedication to that I call in people who also want to create that.
Anna: Yeah.
Bea: And I get it that if you grew up in, "suck it up Buttercup."
Um, "we don't have feelings in this house". Like joy can also be really fricking scary.
Anna: Yeah.
Bea: So like, let's acknowledge that, okay, joy's scary, whatcha gonna do about it. Are you gonna stay in that fear? Maybe for a while, and that's okay. And then you get to do what Deb Dana teaches, which is look for the glimmers.
Can I teach this tool real quick? 'cause it's a really good one.
Anna: Please do
Bea: So, triggers are something that overwhelms the nervous system into a survival response. Either playing dead or panicking. Glimmers are the opposite. And they are the things that bring us into joy, into wonder, into marveling, and they are the things we choose.
Well, sometimes they can happen automatically, but what I like to recommend is a glimmer hunt, which is when we move through our day, actively looking to find the beauty. Like the fact, okay, so. There is a 15 pound, how many kilos is that? Like six kilo big. He's a big beast. Big black cat in my lap right now. Fully asleep. Snoring? Not purring. Snoring. He was in a garbage can a year ago. We found him one year ago yesterday in a, in a literal garbage can with his brother. Someone was like, these lives don't matter. Um, okay. And now he's asleep in my lap. Glimmer town, baby. And so every time he should, I'm like gonna cry. 'Cause the trust is so humbling. This brings my nervous system towards a belief system in which joy is possible, which trust is possible, in which kindness and compassion and consent and mutuality and interdependence, and also a ton of cuteness is possible.
And so, sure, I could focus on the negative. But like, what are you talking about? There's a trash can cat in my lap right now. You know? How beautiful is that right?
Also, my wife just got home and we like. He heard her the car, well, she's probably about two blocks away and he just jumped outta my lap and ran to the front door to greet her girl. Get out of town with how cute that is.
That is, he's gone. He was like, sleeping with you is cute, but listen, other mothers here I got, he's like shaking his hair out. He's like, let me run to the door. Ear flirting. Right? And that's a marvelous thing.
Anna: I love what you were just saying about glimmers there. I actually learned something only in the last couple of weeks.
It was something I think I saw on Instagram and it was about transforming the word. "Triggers" into using the word "activated", which I really appreciated. Yeah. Like the violence and the aggression of the word triggers has never really sat well with me. And since I saw that, I was like, oh, actually that's something that I Yeah.
Really want to be moving towards.
Bea: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Anna: Like activated feels more in alignment with, with the world that I wanna be creating rather than talking about triggers. And I just found it really interesting. And the other image that came to mind as you were talking about this glimmer treasure hunt, as someone who, you know, spent two decades working in circus and has, you know, like I can, glitter is like.
Plague of showbiz. Sure. And what I think about is you would find glitter places. It had no business being
Bea: listen
Anna: for so many weeks after a show. I think the idea of maybe like trying to use something like glitter or when you see it on something else is a little or reminder place to go.
Like, where's the glimmer in here? Yeah. Like, where's the reminder to be able to go? Yeah. That is, that's something that I wanna choose to look for.
Bea: It's really lovely and we could, it doesn't have to be anything as magnificent as a garbage cat, but like the colour red, how beautiful is that? Right? Like. I don't know that there's like ink exists, pens exist.
I know it sounds banal, it's stupid, but like whatcha talking about this is amazing. And so it's really what we're doing is we're shifting the, our, the default mode network in our brain that tells the default story of how we relate to the world. We're shifting it from womp, womp into, okay, how can I find the cool, how can I find the shot?
Like, what's amazing like this Gaza pin, like look at these colours. The fact that this is like metal with enamel on it, right? And that like, I can see someone wearing this and I know where kin
Anna: Yeah,
Bea: and, and vice versa. And it's so tiny. Right
Anna: and
Bea: says by much or like, wait, what are you talking about? That I have fingernails and I'm serious.
Like there's bones outside my body
Anna: As an English person, one of my favorites is rain. It's like there's water falling at me from the sky. That's ridiculous. That's so silly.
Bea: It's so wild. And that rain is me. And we can get all non-dualistic now, right? Like that rain. I am that rain. Whoa. Yeah.
Anna: And then that is another whole 10 hour podcast. I wanna circle back. I'm
Bea: available.
Anna: Allow me Oh, I love it.
Bea: Yeah.
Anna: Allow me just,
Bea: yeah.
Anna: To go back to that idea is we were talking about, about the idea I just wanna sort of make sure that people have tangible things that they can walk away with and that idea of people thinking that other people can, can cause their feelings. These kitten steps that you were talking about, that check in with yourself, that you were mentioning in terms of like checking in with your own needs and not deferring to other people.
If people are like, yeah, "this is cute, but like clearly if I say something horrible, someone else is gonna be hurt and offended, and so I must be really nice all the time and do all the things that they want" if they catch themself in this mind cycle. Do you have anything that is a similar little kitten step that you could offer people to go like, "hold up, where are you in this picture?"
Bea: I mean, of course we, yeah, everything we say and do has the potential to impact someone, but like why would you negate your own agency?
Right. So like I was hanging out with a friend's 7-year-old the other day, and she was walking, holding my elbow, and she goes, um, dear Bea, um, when I hold your elbow, it's like, actually it's, um, how I, um, imagine that an elephant
Anna: is.
Bea: And I, I had two options. One, you can go fuck your whole set, fuck off your little shit.
Or. Oh my God, you are so cute and adorable and elephants are brilliant and matriarchal and gorgeous and incredible and so intelligent and thank you. So I get to choose what I want to make out of any statement and sure. Some are gonna rub up against an old wound. Sure. Of course they are. That's, and we get to decide not always the first feeling, because that's the activation in the nervous system, right?
And if I had some longstanding trauma around elephant skin, right then, like I might have gotten activated. And that's that first feeling. Cool. I orient my nervous system, I regulate, I ground, I breathe. I come back into self-reference, into agency, and I decide. Do I wanna stay mad at an adorable 7-year-old?
Do I wanna stay flipped out about some comment? She has no frame of reference for being mean, or do I wanna choose to find it cute and sweet? So that's, that's where that agency and choice comes in. And we are, all of us at any time, both the 7-year-old and the 46-year-old. Because I've said so many things that I thought were so complimentary only to have someone's face fall, right, and unwittingly hurt them.
So the point is, again, self-love, self-trust, values. Who are you? Are you trying to be mean and cruel? Or are you just setting a boundary and a limit? Because when we don't, we resent the people we love. And that's a lot meaner.
Anna: Yeah.
Bea: Just trust who you are and what you mean in the world, you know?
Anna: Yeah. And, and. Being a, something that I, I bring to people in coaching calls quite a lot is that idea that if you hold your values to be true, like if you are, if you value that kindness, as you say, compassion, wisdom, these things, these are things that you are going, if you value these things in other people, these are gonna be things that you're exceptional at.
Bea: Yeah.
Anna: You know, these are things that you wanna put a lot of effort into. I also have to tell you. Yeah, with your fabulous analogy that I am allergic to elephants and Oh, of all of the people you have story to a big elephant trauma. But you know, elephants are, um, they're amazing.
I have loved talking to you today, like I would be very happy to chat to you likewise for 17 hours. Um, but I would like to give you a chance to let people know where they can find out more about your work, where they can come into more contact with your brain
you just explain Yeah. Massive. What I consider to be very high intelligent medical concepts and such a like, oh my God, my dyslexic brain can understand it way I adore it. So please do tell people
Bea: Yeah. That
Anna: they can find you.
Bea: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me get to it. So my podcast is called Feminist Wellness. It's free wherever you get your, your shows.
The book is called. And emotional outsourcing. How to overcome your codependent, perfectionist, and people pleasing habits. You can find out, learn more. Get some freebies and order on my website at be ariz, B-E-A-T-R-I-Z albina.com/book. Uh, and you can follow me on the gram. I give good gram at Be Victoria Albina np.
Anna: I will put all of the links for all of those things in the show notes, and it has been an absolute joy talking to you today. Thank you so much for making a true
Bea: delight,
Anna: God bliss.
Bea: Thanks for having me. All right. Bye
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