Spam Filter For Your Brain - Episode 24
Have you ever wondered why the Internet is full of supposed "quick-fix" cures for emotional and mental health issues? In fact, for anything, everybody wants a fast solution. And one of the reasons I think that people want quick solutions to everyday problems that they're facing and everyday challenges that are going on within their heads, is that we're trying to escape where we're feeling at the moment because we think when this difficulty or this obstacle or this jagged edge has subsided, that everything's going to be rainbows and daisies. And we're going to have a lovely stress-free time. And everything's going to be wonderful. We're going to feel happy ever after. As the other side of this thing that we're struggling with.
But I've noticed in life, is that the other side of whatever you're dealing with is just a whole load more life. And that whole load of life will come with some tricky bits, some happy bits, some sad bits and confusing bits and boring bits, some mundane bits, some bits where you feel pretty terrible for other people and what they're going through. And then some bits where you feel like you want a little bit of time and space and clarity in your own life and a whole load of another mix of emotions that we never really celebrate: these big things around the edges. The other side of the difficulty you're facing at the moment is a whole load more life.
But when we fixate on this idea of "solving" the problem that we have at the moment, we miss out on what is most of our lives because we're always rushing to this "grass is always greener" place whilst we miss out on all of the bits going on and all of the detail and all of the spectrum of emotions that happen day to day in a very existence.
We don't need another quick fix cure, I don't think this is helping any of us—the number of solutions that are being offered in very cute soundbites and memes sometimes on the Internet. I don't know if that is helping any of us. What we don't need a solution to the problem that is the human condition. Maybe we just all need to learn to feel a bit more and try and acknowledge the is in sitting with our emotions, being present with things, being more mindful, being willing to taste, smell and see all of the bits of life that come to us. Even the bits that we don't enjoy that much, or even the bits that we find a bit tiresome or a bit trickier, a bit stretching or a bit exhausting; if we're willing to feel all of those bits and we actually have the capacity and the heart to welcome those bits into our lives, we realise that that's what life actually is, so we don't need to escape it. We can feel the life as it comes at us, whatever pace it takes.
And suddenly, this idea of a quick-fix queue feels like they're selling us little magic beans for a problem that doesn't need solving. Your life doesn't need solving, but I would love for you to feel more comfort and peace with everything that goes on in it.
And the only way to do that is to sit with it and experience your own feelings. Have a good toolkit and support network around you if you can, to try and help you with the bits that feel trickier than the bits you feel that you want to escape from. But generally, the more you are willing to sit with your own emotions, the less they'll feel frightening, unfamiliar, and like something you want to try and get away from.