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Spam Filter for Your Brain Episode 4

Welcome to Spam Filter for your brain. My name's Anna HeardinLondon, and I'm here to try and help people find creative solutions to reconnect to their bodies and minds. And I don't believe we should magically know all of this about our emotions, lives, and well-being if no one teaches us.

So let's try and learn this stuff together.

'Tis the time of year when people pleasing comes to the fore. This time of year, there is so much obligation from work, colleagues, friends, and family. So many different angles that everybody else has a clear expectation of what everybody else should do that may not align with what you want to do. So this Christmas, I have a little dare for you: to put yourself on the list.

It is to centre your own needs and ensure that you look after your own well-being. So what is it that you'll need to take me through this period to make sure that you feel safe, looked after, heard, loved, and respected? And what could make it joyful for you?

I think quite often, we all put into situations, especially people who are socialised as women, come across situations where we can believe that if we do enough things and we behave in a certain way, we are nice enough that we put everybody else first, that we don't consider our own needs, that other people will think a particular way about us.

They might think that we are a nice, obliging, kind, all of the niceties that big blue and sage, as women, are often to is the object of our respect in society, and often historically has been the way that it has kept us safe within any kind of social dynamic. And I invite you this year to look at ways that you ignore your own needs and ignore your body's needs, ignore your rest needs, ignore your emotional well-being, needs to prioritise somebody else's.

Because if you are not looking after yourself, there will be less of you to go policing those other people in the first place. But most importantly, when we cut through all of this, hoping that our behaving in a particular way can make another person feel a particular thing. I'd really like you to look at the reality of what people-pleasing is.

Sadly, people pleasing is not the flex we think this is because people pleasing is going out of our way to try and manipulate how another person feels about us by doing things that we quite often don't want to do. It's stretching ourselves beyond our limits, beyond our measures, to try and make sure that someone else thinks we are incredibly kind and generous.

We are incredibly gracious. Whatever it is that we are hoping someone else to think about us. We're trying to make them think that by doing something that we don't want to do and this behaviour can come out so prevalently at Christmas. It can mean that at the end of the holidays, quite often you are left needing a holiday, and that doesn't have to be the case if you put yourself on the list, if you look after your wellbeing, if within any dynamic or any circumstances if it starts to feel a bit scratchy or a bit uncomfortable, check in with yourself and see where you're not having your own back, where you're not looking after your wellbeing, where you haven't prioritised or even asked yourself what you need here. This is the best gift that you could give yourself this Christmas. That feeling of safety and that feeling of well-being is what gives us space to feel joy. This season, and without looking after yourself, joy is not centered. And this is what I wish for you.

For you to have a peaceful, joyful time where you listen to yourself, and you are definitely top of your own Christmas list. I hope you manage to survive this week with loads of self-care, and I look forward to seeing you next week. I just thought I'd slide into the end of this podcast and let you know that if you're listening to this, when it comes out, which is the end of December 2022, we are open for enrolment for the goals course as our care school, which is it's a little twist on New Year's resolutions.

It's like New Year's resolutions, but with joy; it is the month's theme. It's going to be pleasure, potential and possibilities, and it's looking at how we can start next year with all of the things that we hope to achieve, but how we can make that more fun and more joyful and more aligned with creating more of what we want in life rather than it being very serious.

And I have a dream that I will be going on a one human mission to try and transform year's resolutions to not be something that becomes a bit of a joke by the second week of the year. And that is one of the ways that we can.

We can make sure that that happens to ensure that there is a lot of you, a lot of sparkling, and a lot of motivation in there for you to be.

Able to align what you're trying to achieve with things that bring you the most happiness. So this course is for people who feel like New Year's resolutions are just things they should be doing. And it is also a course for people who still need to learn what they want to do. They feel like it's a bit more in the moment. So if things are a bit meh, then come along; we can help uncover and discover what you would really like for 2023; the course is available for enrolment. I will link in the show notes, but it is available on, and I would really love you to join us. As always, the course operates on an if you can. For that basis. There is a concessionary if you can't afford it, and there is a scholarship for anyone who is struggling and needs extra support with their self-care and emotional well-being and can't afford it, that option is there too.

So if you scroll to the bottom of the page, you should see all three of those options, and you can pay it forward for somebody else to help me run. What I hope is an equitable, accessible self-care school. I look forward to seeing you inside. This has been a spam filter for your brain, brought to you by and

If you'd like to know more, he'd like to see more incredible humans. Please do hope on social media @HeardinLondon on Instagram, my website, and @HeardinLondonPhotography on Facebook.

And if you would like to learn more about how you can embed this stuff into your life and you'd like to join some of the incredible coaching calls and the group work, please do have a look at

If you have any questions about anything I mentioned this week, please email me. I hope to see you again next week.

Thank you for spending time together.


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