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Tough Relationship Questions

Updated: Apr 4

Spam Filter For Your Brain - Episode 70

Back this week with some of what my best mate tends to call "pokey little questions" for you to ask yourself and just get curious about what's going on in your world.

This week I want to pose the question, what would your relationship be like if you spoke to your partner the way that you speak to yourself? And if you are single right now, where you don't have anyone who you consider to be your partner, what would your relationship with your friends be like if you spoke to them the way that you speak to yourself? What would your relationship with your family be like?

And then try and take that wider to some other things that you might struggle with in your everyday what's your relationship with money like? How does that relate to the way that you speak to yourself? What's your relationship with time like? And how similar is that to the way that you speak to yourself?

Most of us are pretty prone to being pretty unforgiving and pretty mean when it comes to the way that we speak to ourselves. The grace that we cut ourselves, the way that we hold ourselves to account for things that may or may not have been our fault. It's very rare that we are very comfortable and calm and resiliently loving to ourselves under all circumstances. And if you are in that place, I'm super happy for you. That is something that most of us spend a lifetime working towards, and perhaps some of you see glimpses of it, and I really hope that you do. And in those circumstances, when you feel like you are maybe a lot better at this than you used to be, also maybe not quite where you want to be? What happens when you make a mistake? When you drop something? When you drop the ball on something? When something doesn't go according to plan? Or when someone else accuses you of something? How do you speak to yourself then? How do you speak to your energy and your time and your past self who made those decisions? What is it that comes up for you in words? And do you think that speaking to yourself in that manner is taking you any closer to kindness? Is that taking you any closer to the person that you want to be? And is the way that you're speaking to yourself more likely for you to respond in a way which is more in alignment with the values that you want to hold in future?

Asking ourselves these tricky kind of questions can really give us an insight into the incessant inner dialogue which is running in the background of most of our lives. These inner little narrators. By asking ourselves some tricky little questions, we can draw the parallels between the results that we're seeing in front of us and the stuff that we're saying in our heads.

So I hope that some of these questions can be really useful for you to have a little sit down and ponder with. Maybe with a pen and paper if you have time. I definitely recommend finding the time, and I look forward to speaking to you next week.


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